I’ve been staring at this attractive Macy’s holiday advertisement for a month now. Since mid-December, it’s been posted on the MARTA train, right above the seats that are reserved for disabled and elderly passengers. I can only guess they selected this advertising location because they figure all of the other MARTA riders will look in this general direction to try to figure out if the person sitting below is actually old or maimed in some usually unobservable way. In fact, sometimes I sit in those seats when I’m depressed or angry, hoping someone will dare to ask me if I should be sitting there.
Okay, back to the billboard. The theme is “Believe” and it’s written in beautiful white stars all across the poster. I’d been thinking that this has got to be the cheesiest commercial campaign ever, but I just couldn’t put my finger on why. Today, with the holidays just a memory, I figured it out. It’s because this woman is full of crap if she “believes” what’s going on in this scene.
- Does she actually believe that people would go skating in these outfits?
- Does she believe some sort of muskrat love will keep her warm without shirt sleeves and leg warmers?
- Does she believe that skating on thin ice, with obvious areas of unfrozen pond water directly behind her, is safe?
- Does she think this man will be able to save her if she slips and falls let alone crashes through the ice into the frigid water beneath?
- And most importantly, does she really believe this man is straight?
Well, if she can believe all of that, then I can believe that someday I will do lovely, effortless backbends.
Right now in yoga I’m working on assisted backbends (among 50 other things). For this posture the teacher stands in front of you and helps you drop backwards without falling on your head. When you’re ready for the teacher to come help you, you stand at the edge of your mat with your hands across your chest. And then you wait. Some days the teacher comes right over. Other days, the teacher might be helping another student, so the wait could be a few minutes or more. This waiting reminds me of my basketball days and standing at the free throw line. The theory is that the longer you stand at the line thinking about the shot, the higher the pressure becomes and the lower the chances you’ll make the basket. In close games, the other team might even call a time out just to add to the anxiety level.
Well, thankfully I was often pretty dang good at those stressful clutch free throws (8 out of 10 from the line). So, when I get to the assisted backbend portion of my practice, I’ll wait patiently for the teacher and hopefully nail it 80% of the time.
Note: I’ve always had a pretty decent shot but I’m awful when someone is guarding me. That’s why I love free throws; there’s no one but me standing in the way of making the basket. Hmmm… once again, sounds like yoga and life.