This whole eating right and not drinking thing is exhausting. I can’t just come home from work, uncork the wine bottle and be a vegetable on the sofa. Now I’ve got to prep the vegetables so that they’re ready for whatever Doc B. is cooking each night. No more picking up a green olive and extra cheese pizza and washing it down with an 11% alcohol by volume Allagash bourbon barrel-aged tripel ale. Now I pick up Pure Abundance vegan cheese and wash it down with 100% good for you collard and beat green pot liquor. We also take the time to pack our lunches every day which helps me stay out of the workplace cafeteria temptations of cheese grits, mac and cheese and tater tots (with cheese?).
I no longer have to deal with the looks of annoyance from wine store clerks when I remind them to give me my case discount. But, I did have to deal with a look and some comments from the health food store cashier that made me feel as uncomfortable as if he’d done an in-store and parking lot loudspeaker price check on a tube of preparation H. Here’s how it went:
Cashier: “Hmm. Liver detox and milk thistle pills?”
Me: “uh, yeah.”
Cashier: “What are they for?”
Me: “uh, to restore your liver to its pre-alcohol-soaked state.”
Cashier: “oh; good luck with that.”
I then made certain to hand over a membership card with Doc B’s name on it (Just kidding Doc B, just kidding!)
Speaking of Doc B, she recently gave me one of those “really? you’re not serious” looks. Here’s how that went:
Doc B: “Can you help me decant some of my ashwagandha tincture?”
Me: “Sure! Then do you want me to buy another bottle of vodka to replenish your batch?”
Doc B: “What happen to that bottle of organic vodka we had?”
Me: “You mean the one me and the neighbors finished off while you were on your last meditation retreat?”
Doc B: silence – rolls eyes.
Well, Doc B doesn’t have to worry about medicinal vodka gone missing for at least a little while longer. I’m on a roll with the no drinking thing and I might as well keep it going. And a nice side effect of this adventure is that I’m down a few kilograms (and even more if you measure it in pounds). But I’m still way heavier than Doc B – which could be helpful in holding her down in assisted supta vajrasana…or I can sit on her if she rolls her eyes at me again.