12 Easy Steps to a Spotless, Fur-Free Yoga Porch

savasana on the porch

savasana on the porch

  1. Lovingly send your significant other to California for a ten-day silent meditation retreat since that’s what she tells you she really, really wants for her 50th birthday next month (then sing along with the Spice Girls’ Wannabe),
  2. Plan to be a committed Tipsy Yogi and do your practice at the yoga studio every single morning while your significant other is away,
  3. Try to be thankful (rather than annoyed) that your good government employer scheduled training at 8:00 AM for Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week,
  4. Since you won’t have time to practice at the yoga studio AND shower before bureaucratic training (the latter might be okay if you were just going to be sitting in your office rather than in a classroom with 40 co-workers), exercise flexibility and plan to do 5:00 AM yoga on the porch instead,
  5. Decide that you’ll just do a light Friday night swiffing on the porch deck boards, but put it off in favor of an invite for a game of Qwirkle and some Mellow Mushroom pizza then fall asleep after a midnight viewing of the final episode of Orange is the New Black,
  6. Wake up realizing all that you could accomplish knowing that you now have an entire TV-free week since Breaking Bad doesn’t start until August 5,
  7. Think fond memories of the few star-struck yoga classes you had practicing downward facing dog next to Giancarlo Esposito,
  8. Be bummed that he died in season 4,
  9. Wonder if everyone thinks you’re disturbed for enjoying these shows,
  10. Go to Saturday morning breakfast at IHOP with the PhD’s and then invite Dr. R to do Sunday yoga with you on the porch,
  11. Remember that Dr. R is highly allergic to cats, including the yogatos who sprawl, roll and scratch all over said porch, and
  12. Spend your Saturday afternoon scrubbing down the porch deck boards.

So starting tomorrow morning, 5:00 yoga on the spotless porch it is. Cicada symphony, nag champa aroma, baby bird chirps and MARTA bus engine revving guaranteed.  Raccoon viewing possible.

The view from the porch - well, not our porch but someone's porch on Cape Cod

The view from the porch – well, not our porch, but someone’s porch on Cape Cod

CCBB - Cape Cod Back Bend

CCBB – Cape Cod Back Bend

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