Opening Issues

This is how most of the boxes look at our house:

Hello! There is no closure tab if you open it this way!

Even if there are instructions written directly on the box, that advice is rarely followed. I’m not sure if Doc B. has packaging company authority issues and refuses to believe that the most advantageous way to get into a box of crackers is in fact how they tell you to do it… or if she just plain has opening issues.

Unless I can get to it first, a bag of Garden of Eatin’ organic blue chips will always be mysteriously ripped in a diagonal line all the way down the entire front of the bag. A tub of Sabra hummus will predictably have the torn jagged edges of that saran wrap-like covering still stuck to the rims of the plastic container. And look out if there’s one of those clamshell-type plastic packages. There is absolutely sure to be wrap rage if I don’t run to the kitchen junk drawer and quickly put my hands on the tin snips, a utility knife, a razor blade, the can opener, box cutters, an ice pick or a hari kari sword strategically placed next to a pre-stamped suicide note addressed to the packaging industry presidents of the world.

I can’t wait to see how these two packages get opened:

Look, there’s a little tab cut-out right above the Tasty Bite T

This one has instructions spelled out: PULL THE TAB!

But there’s no harping on Doc B.’s opening issues since I have my own. Once the food container is open, it’s fair game and mine for the eating. Doc B.’s common kitchen questions include: “what happened to all of those green olives I bought yesterday?” and, “where is that container of feta cheese that I was going to use on our salads tonight?”

Lately my writing emphasis has been more on the tipsy and less on the yogi. I’m overdue for a swap on the focus. So what do opening issues have to do with yoga? Well I’m glad you asked.

Yoga is all about opening. For me that means being open to feeling and looking awkward and stupid, opening up to my potential and accepting my never will be’s, and opening up to what I now may be able to do that I didn’t used to be able to do and, believe it or not, visa versa.

On that visa versa part – an injury is currently upsetting my practice. It took about a year of Ashtanga Yoga before I could get my legs into full lotus (padmasana). I was so excited that day that I didn’t even care that my teacher corrected me (I had my legs crossed the wrong way – you’re supposed to pull your right leg in first and then the left). But after almost 2 years of basking in lotus, and all of the postures that I could get into more easefully because of it, I suddenly couldn’t pull in my right leg without feeling like I was going to break off my leg at the knee. It’s getting better, but after 3 months, its still disappointing and frustrating. I’m trying to be open to what this is doing for my neurotic, psych-med level attachment issues.

Lotus – the wrong way!

Lately, and by lately I mean always, my biggest fear has been with one of the most opening of the yoga postures – back bends. The only things that push me through the back bend series are that 1) it means the practice is almost over, and 2) I choose to believe that my teacher gave me the added step of doing assisted drop-back-stand-ups just so I would have one thing in my practice that Doc B. doesn’t do.

By the way, yesterday Doc B. actually did okay opening the below package (and I don’t think I ate anything from the fridge or the cupboards that I wasn’t supposed to).

Well, time to open up the closet, find my yoga clothes and get my stiff knee and open mind to class.  And perhaps later I’ll open a beer?

clamshell packaging